Tuesday 29 January 2013

A story of a problem family.


The government are thinking of giving vouchers to unemployed people for food; people all over twitter have been complaining with good reason, it’s treating the unemployed like children, telling them they have to spend their cash at Tesco’s and stealing people’s dignity. To a point I agree with this, being out of work is embarrassing and undignified, money is eked out. I used to put cash in envelopes labelled food, gym, bills and would open them as I needed them.    When I found myself a jobless single mum I had the same mentality, I would tell the kids I was skint so I could scrape my money together to buy some clothes or have a cheap day out. My life wasn't always like this though.

Not every poor person is noble  not every poor person counts the pennies and spends the spare pennies wisely. Some people fed their kids others feed their habits, I should know, I lived with a man who didn't live for his family; he lived to get off his face. “Now “I hear Tories cry, this is a family who need food stamps, why should people go spending taxpayers money on drugs.” I agree, the way some people spend their cash is disgusting.   Unfortunately one of these men was the father of my children. I worked full time in a call center  on pay day I would pray the money would be spent on food , his parents would give him a lift to Tescos. One day I had a vibe he was desperate to get off his face, before work I rang his dad terrified we would starve begging him to make sure the shopping was done early. This man just wanted to feed his habits; he didn't care where he got the money from, the state, the family, his partner.  I probably behaved like a loony but an insane situation calls for insane actions. We we’re a problem family, we we’re an asbo crew. Our problems went deeper than us being childish hedonists living off the state, we had real problems and a long tangled tale, it would have taken more than a team of social workers and some food stamps to sort out our problems.

It seems a simple cure for problem families, force them to feed their children, and stop the habits the problem goes deeper than adults behaving like idiots. My ex was so addicted to so many things he could make money out of thin air. Toys would go missing, things would go back to the shop if I kept the receipt, food cards would just be used by addicts to barter with. Anything I bought would be “stolen”. I was not an addict but I was a victim, I was out of my mind on threats of violence and no sleep. I trusted nobody, I had lost all my friends and I had no money, I could see nowhere out.  My ex had lied so well to social services they believed I was an addict too. The only reason I have a laptop to write this story on is because I got out. I’m on a journalism course and I am really careful with cash. My family rescued me in the end. So Tories don’t think you can help the poor by treating them like children. How about spending money on children’s services, having social workers spend more time with families and making it easier for women and men to get out of destructive relationships? Addiction is a disease; it won’t be cured by handing out food cards. Problems are complex, every dysfunctional family is different, please Tories don’t think some gimmicks will sort them out.